Should You Consider Therapy During a Divorce?

undefinedIf you’re in the midst of a dissolution, you’re likely feeling a multitude of very vulnerable and raw feelings—sadness, loss, anger, resentment, regret, or perhaps even numbness. Outside of experiencing the death of a loved one, divorce is often one of the hardest hurdles that individuals may have to overcome. Dissolution requires ex-spouses to address issues that may have been avoided for years, or, alternatively, have been the source of deep hurt, and lay them out for others to see and evaluate. Assets must be divided, lifestyle changes may be necessary, and time with your kids will likely be altered as well. It can feel tumultuous addressing so many sensitive and triggering areas of your life, all while trying to come to terms with the reality that the spouse whom you once loved and dreamt of a future with, no longer has a place in your inner circle. It’s rarely a black and white experience—rather, a divorce can feel both complex and conflicting.

With such a whirlwind of emotions, it’s important to consider how therapy may be able to help you navigate your dissolution, both during and after the fact. Having a trusted therapist who you meet with occasionally and can rely on to always be a listening ear and help provide valuable and unbiased insight is important, and may be exactly the help you need to get through your divorce in a healthy manner.

Even if you’ve been separated for some time or have seen your divorce coming for years, there’s still a huge amount of processing you’ll likely go through as you finalize your separation. A therapist can help you develop stress-management tactics as you work out the details of your divorce and create a plan for moving forward. In many ways, you’ll be rebuilding your life, and having a therapist to help you visualize how you want that future to look, as well as teach you practical steps that you can take to get to that point, can be invaluable at this time of life. A professional can help you identify what went wrong with your past relationship—an important step in finding peace with the past and helping to promote better relationship tactics in the future.

Additionally, if you have children, a therapist can be a great tool for them as they come to terms with changing family dynamics. It’s not uncommon for children to feel stressed, lost, angry, or that they’re to blame, when two parents announce their divorce. While this decision may be best for the family in the long run, it can be challenging for a child to understand those truths, and in turn may struggle with a sense of abandonment or insecurity in their relationships with their parents. A therapist has the tools to help facilitate important conversations between family members, as well as help ensure a child that they are still wholly loved as a family heals and rebuilds after a split. A therapist can also individually coach parents on how they can reassure their children of their love for them and create environments that protect them from unnecessary damage. Additionally, they can offer helpful insight on how to co-parent with an ex in a healthy manner that would respect boundaries and allow children to continue to thrive.

If you’re undergoing a divorce and are struggling with coping with the changes ahead of you, consider employing a therapist to walk alongside you through this challenging season. As family law attorneys, we have seen how therapy can promote healthy perspectives which, in turn, often results in more civil divorce proceedings that can save heartache, time, and money for all parties involved. If you are in need of great therapists in the area, please call our office today and we will connect you with professionals in the industry who we feel confident can help you towards your pursuit for healing.